There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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