Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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