if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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