who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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