just tell him i said nine months
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize