Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize