You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
