I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
