I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.