Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
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