she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
She has the best kind of daddy issues
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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