Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
