talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
there is puke in my bra ... again
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