Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
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