laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
