I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
it's not cheating when I paid for it
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
