it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize