I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
