there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
