Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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