My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Randomize
