We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
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