so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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