some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
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Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
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I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
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