Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
nutella sex= disaster
I got her a Nickelback box set.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
