there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
