and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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