you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
