that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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