your thong is hanging out like whoa
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
