apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Randomize
