i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
