But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
