I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
