Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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