Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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