PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
