Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
