Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
