There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Randomize
