my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Randomize
