Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
