Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
