so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
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