dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
