I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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