Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize