I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
