Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
