I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
