Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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