So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Randomize
