i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
