better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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