I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize