Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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