I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
