Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
And then my night got REAL pukey
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
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