Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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