Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
