My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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