...so i touched it.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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