??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
