I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
