covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I'm jealous of your bromance
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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