And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
