Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize