Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
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