There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
What drink are we having for lunch?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
